we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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