Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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