dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
