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Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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