were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There are leaves in my underwear?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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