btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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