Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
