i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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