theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize