I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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