Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
