On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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