What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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