Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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