he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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