just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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