So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
