We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
