Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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