I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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