i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
