Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
