Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
