So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
