Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
