Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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