escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
