3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
