Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
