we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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