I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
