Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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