It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
