My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You ruined the universe
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
