I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
