So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
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