Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize