that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
