Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
