new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
