I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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