he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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