Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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