ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
