Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
