Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
