Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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