you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
