i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
