hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
